This is True – By Randy Cassingham

I DOUBT HE HAD A PERMIT FOR THIS: When Brian Hardman, 22, allegedly tried to carjack an older man in Detroit, Mich., he picked the wrong target: Leonard Turner, 47, is a retired middleweight boxer. Turner had pulled into a gas station to put air in a tire. “I was squatting near the tire and he comes up and says, ‘I ain’t trying to rob you — but give me what you got, and tell that [expletive] to get out of the car,” Turner testified in Hardman’s preliminary hearing. The robber had a gun, so “I grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground,” Turner said. The man’s finger was on the trigger, so he aimed the gun safely and forced him to pull it. “After I shot the gun off until it was empty, I grabbed it from him,” Turner continued. “He got up and said, ‘Give me my gun back; I got a [permit].'” Turner wouldn’t have any of that: “I hit him with the gun,” he said. And with that, Hardman’s attorney Jonathan Jones made his move: the charge for his client should certainly not be carjacking, he told the judge, because Hartman didn’t have a gun during the entire crime. “The reason he didn’t have the gun on him,” Judge Shannon A. Holmes replied, “is because the defendant got his butt whipped, and Mr. Turner took the gun from him.” He ordered Hardman to stand trial for carjacking, armed robbery, and assault. (RC/Detroit News)…And a misdemeanor charge of choosing an idiot for a lawyer.
SPEAKING OF IDIOT LAWYERS: Samuel Cutrufelli, 31, broke into a home in Greenbrae, Calif., and tied up the resident, Jay Leone, 90. Leone escaped and grabbed a gun, but Cutrufelli opened fire first, shooting the elderly man in the face. Leone returned fire, hitting the burglar several times. Cutrufelli got Leone’s gun away, put it to the man’s head, and pulled the trigger — but it had run out of bullets. Both men survived…and Cutrufelli has sued Leone, calling him a vigilante. The suit says the victim “negligently shot” the burglar, which caused “great bodily injury, and other financial damage, including loss of Mr. Cutrufelli’s home, and also the dissolution of Mr. Cutrufelli’s marriage.” Cutrufelli’s attorney, Sanford Troy, defended the tactic, saying it’s “definitely a six-figure case. It may be a seven-figure case,” speculating on the possible winnings for the burglar. As far as the criminal case, “We, in the defense, have to prove zip,” Troy told the jury. “El Zippo, as they say in Spanish.” Later, he noted that “This case stinks like fish that hasn’t been in the refrigerator for a week.” After just a few hours of deliberation, the jury convicted Cutrufelli of all charges, and he faces life in prison. (RC/Marin Independent Journal)…Is there room in his cell for his attorney?
ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, WORKING GIRLS ALWAYS GET THE SHAFT: “New York Court Finds Pole Dancing Revenue Can Be Taxed” — Reuters headline
THIS WEEK’S HONOURARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to John Fitch. ”I’ve always needed to go fast,” Fitch once told a reporter: after studying civil engineering, he volunteered for the U.S. Army Air Corps in World War II, where he flew a P-51 Mustang fighter — and managed to shoot down a Messerschmitt Me 262 (the first fighter jet). After the war, Fitch was a well-known race car driver. His engineering background helped: he designed five cars during his career, as well as engine cooling systems, self-levelling car suspensions, a fireplace which makes use of waste heat, and a cervical-spine traction system to help people with neck injuries be able to move while recovering. But he also applied his skills to safety, and one of his ideas was so good, it’s not only in use on racetracks, but also highways: collapsible barrels filled with sand or water which safely dissipate kinetic energy when hit by cars. They’re commonly found in the transitions between higher-speed lanes and off-ramps, among other places, greatly reducing the severity of crashes when people miss their exits. “There is no counting how many lives have been saved by these barrels,” AutoWeek magazine suggested in 2006. What prompted his interest in safety? In the 1955 24 Hours of Le Mans, Fitch’s partner, Pierre Levegh, was driving when he was cut off and crashed; pieces of his car flew into the crowd, killing 83 spectators and injuring 120 — the worst crash in auto racing history; Levegh was also killed. In addition to the barrel idea, Fitch “holds a number of patents for safety equipment including soft walls and sliding barriers for race tracks, and a shelf full of safety awards,” according to the Motorsports Hall of Fame of America. Fitch said his efforts toward saving lives “is payback in a way.” He died October 31st from cancer and respiratory problems, at 95.

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